


The Power of OxiClean

by orphan_account



Category: Billy Mays - Fandom, My Chemical Romance, OxiClean
Genre: Crack, Gerard Way x Billy Mays 5ever, Help, Humor, I Ship It, M/M, OxiClean kink, Sorry Not Sorry, billy mays has been dead for like 7 years, how, how do I tag this?, i feel like i'm doing something wrong, i probably am, i worked hard, i'm a bad person, it's good-ish i promise, read it, what did I do, what do we call it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-03 21:29:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6627190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A beautiful tale of love and loss featuring Gerard Way, and Billy Mays.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Power of OxiClean

**Author's Note:**

> Where did this idea come from

Gerard was thinking about what to get his boyfriend, Billy, for their six hundred and sixty-six day anniversary. Whenever Gerard asked Billy what he wanted, it was always the same thing. OxiClean. Gerard would buy it too, but something happens to Billy every time he's around it. He's clearly a slut for the stuff. He doesn't use it in the wash, he gets off on it. Like, every time a commercial for it comes on, he gets hard, and then he and Gerard have sex. Gerard's not complaining, the sex is amazing. But it is a little weird having a boyfriend with an OxiClean kink.

Gerard sighs and puts on the TV. Sure enough, a commercial is on about "The Power of OxiClean". Gerard's not denying it. It seems to have quite the effect on Billy. The commercial is almost over, though, and so Gerard decides to go to the store to buy some. 

When Gerard gets back home he realizes he has to hide it. So he starts thinking about where. He decides that under the bed is fine for now. 

Gerard has something planned. Something sexy.

 

* * * 

 

When Billy got back from work, all of the lights were off, and it looked like no one was home. "BILLY MAYS HERE!" He called out, thinking that maybe Gerard was in another room and didn't hear him.

"Bedroom!" Gerard yelled back.

Billy walked into the room to see a naked Gerard sprawled out on the bed, with about five bottles of OxiClean around him.

Needless to say, Billy was hard as a rock.

He climbed atop Gerard, and kissed him with bruising pressure, while running one hand over Gerard, and the other over the OxiClean.

 

And so, they fucked. Billy keeping one hand on the OxiClean at all times, and Gerard moaning like a cheap whore. 

After it all, they were just lying in bed, coming down from their highs. "That was amazing." Said Billy. Gerard hummed in response.

"But what was the occasion?"

Gerard pulled away from Billy. 

There was no way he forgot. Not about something as important as this! Gerard had been talking about this for weeks!

"What are you talking about? You know it's our six hundred and sixty-six day anniversary!" 

"Oh good golly gosh was that today? Shoot, I forgot." Gerard gasped! 

"How dare you! And not even an apology?" Gerard started crying. "I should have listened to my mother, you are no good for me!"

At this point, Gerard was crying like a teenage girl. (The author of this story can say that, as she is a teenage girl.)

Gerard put his clothes back on, and walked out of the room, on his way out of the house.

"BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!" Billy called after Gerard, but there was no use.

"No, there isn't. I'm sorry. Goodbye Billy." Gerard said, heartbroken. Gerard was actually crying a river now, drowning everybody in it, including Billy.

So I guess you could say,

 

 

 

 

That this was the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> That's literally the only line I remember from that song. 
> 
> also 666 is my favorite number
> 
> But seriously, i'm legit terrified of myself.


End file.
